The post in which I expose three of my most embarrassing moments in the classroom

You know those moments in class when you’ve said something seemingly normal, but once the students in the room start laughing, sometimes uproariously, you realize that you’ve said something very wrong, usually full of innuendo? Or the other times when you have a wardrobe malfunction?

1. Sometime in the late 90’s I was teaching an 8:00 Spanish 101 class at a midwestern university. Anyone in higher ed knows that students are still mostly asleep at this hour, which worked in my favor in this particular tale. As I walked through the classroom doing my thing, I noticed that my shirt was sticking out sharply in the chest area. It took me a second to realize that the wire in my brassiere had worked itself out and was doing a fine job supporting the fabric of my shirt. In this case, I think that I was the only who noticed, but I’ll never know for sure.

2. I have a shockingly reddish-pink suitcase with a soft cover and silver zipper that is chock-full of clothes I’ve collected over the years. My dad’s old suit is now a classroom prop as well as several prime items from Goodwill. The other suit in the case that kids tend to love is brown with pinstripes. Even though it’s a woman’s suit, the boys always gravitate towards it.

A few years ago in my French I class students were preparing for their annual fashion show using their recently-acquired vocabulary. Frédéric chose the brown suit and pulled it on over his own clothes for his group’s show. As the other kids repacked the suitcase, he refused to shed the suit insisting that he was going to wear it to his next class. At that point, I looked at him and said, “Take off my pants now!” I turned a few shades of red and rolled my eyes once I had processed what I had said.

3. I used to give verb quizzes on a half-sheet of paper, cut lengthwise. I decided to save on copies, so put the quiz on a transparency and asked students to use their own paper torn the same way. Two weeks ago as the tardy bell was nearing its warning, I said, “Get your paper out and tear it the way I like it, right up the middle.” The sixteen year old boys in the class found that particularly hilarious. I’m still trying to re-establish my credibility in that class.